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We know the type well- the pimple on our rear ends that can’t be sandblasted away- the drunken hot mess who never fails at attempting to hump everyone’s leg at the company Christmas party every single year- the turd in the punch bowl- the……..

The list goes on and on.

He’s simply the guy we’re never ever happy to see. The one everyone dreads coming around the corner that they’d sooner scrub the bristles off their tongue with steel wool, than be forced to have to use it with him in any form of exchanged dialogue. He’s not our friend for many reasons but the main one is that he’s a complete and utter whiny jerk.

He’s Mr.“I Can’t Find Happiness in a Single Damned Thing in My Life” . We can’t EFFING stand him and alas, we always have to be burdened by his presence in even the most insignificant ways. And ironically, we still feel compelled to feel sorry for him because he’s a master at his game. The game where he plays the helpless victim and we play the compassionate fool.

So we decide to invite him to the neighborhood barbeque and introduce him to our family and friends, and we lend him some companionship and a set of sympathetic ears. And pretty soon his pessimism spreads like a cancer that tears everybody down and infects every fiber of what would have otherwise been a special day without his hateful horse crap. He can’t have a good time so why should anyone else?

Some people seem to have made it their own personal triumph to be the absolute most unlucky and miserable people on earth. I’m certain they don’t do it consciously, but they’re often psychologically conditioned and encouraged from an early age to play the part of the martyr. I’ve seen and experienced firsthand what a defeatist attitude will do, and consequently undo, for you and the people around you.

It will stand in your way and hold you back at the most important and opportune times of your life. And it will also push you to the point of no return when you probably should’ve just sat back, took a deep breath and kept your mouth shut. Like the time you didn’t ask out that chick because you knew you were just way too ugly/fat/broke, or telling your boss to shove it where the grass doesn’t grow because he passed you up for a raise. These are the moments you’ll never get back.

A persistent negative disposition will guarantee you a lifetime of regret, anguish and personal loss.

Not only for yourself but for those who must also suffer in crossing your destructive path. Rest-assured, they’ll regret wasting a single minute of their lives now forever lost to listening to you be angry and miserable.

The saying “misery attracts company” holds a ring of truth. Almost every miserable person I know has a line of suckers out the door feeling sorry for them, waiting to lick their wounds. Those very same suckers are in some way suffering too and they need to keep someone around to remind them just how bad things really are because they just can’t let themselves forget.

Their minds are so tainted with despair, they don’t know what it is to feel secure in what’s right and fair. Instead, they need to bolster their own sense of inadequacy by looking down their noses at your misfortune and taking the high road, or they chop themselves down notch by notch, swearing they’re much worse off than you are and lure you in with pity. They are skillful tools who know how to feed off each other like thirsty leeches to keep the insanity going.

The negative person assures himself and everyone around him that he is passive in his endless cycle of gloom and doom and he blames the world for his hardships, when he himself is in fact sorely responsible for his own misfortunes. He is the root cause of all his grief for not allowing himself to change his mind and his surroundings for the better. Unfortunately, what most negative people never come to understand is that, their personal suffering, inherent bad luck and their inability to cultivate happiness in their own lives is the direct result of their own negativity. That is, their decision to be negative. They won’t allow themselves to see their own potential while they prevent others from seeing it too.

It’s probably true that you missed out on finding true love because you didn’t ask out that really great chick, and I’m absolutely convinced you didn’t get a raise and got fired for mouthing off to your boss when it’s your fault your attitude stinks to begin with. I’m certain in retrospect, you’d have done things very differently had you ever known how it feels to be truly lucky and blessed that you’re comfortable and confident enough to take risks. Had you taken an optimistic approach, you might have changed your life for the better. But no, it didn’t click somewhere in that thing between your ears that there is a possibility that things could really turn out amazingly fabulous for you. So the opportunity came and went like many others that will never show up again.

It’s your loss and yours alone.

People with an ambition to enrich their lives in the best ways possible don’t sit around and dwell on what isn’t running so smoothly or curse those who they believe might have created obstacles for them. Good people who value their time and potential really don’t want to sit around and keep making excuses. They want to experience the next best thing for them they are absolutely certain lies just ahead. And they want to surround themselves with like-minded people. People who know that luck and virtue go together like wind in a sail.

So now there is only one thing left to do and that is to stay put, stay stagnant and be left out. You will never progress, nor be anything heroic or legendary. Instead you’ll end up a guy whom everyone finds to be too physically and mentally taxing to say anything good about. And worse yet, there are those great, kind and loving people who will dismiss you altogether without a second look, because they’re convinced you’re a total waste of time, energy, and space.

Or…

You, yourself, could take the ultimate high road. The one that leads to life happiness, self-fulfillment and true satisfaction. All you have to do is change your mind. It’s as simple as making the decision. What’ll it be?

I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be remembered for all the things I’ve made possible and not for all the things I’ve torn down and destroyed.